To Learn is to Love

Thursday, January 28, 2016

A Happily Ever After to Come Soon

Rehearsal Dinner Outfit (Red Dress)

Dress: Francesca's
Cardigan: Target
Lip Product: NYX Lip Cream in Amsterdam
Wedding Outfit (Pink and Black Dress)
Dress: Modcloth
Coat: (Old) Vertiage Clothing
Tights: Macy's
Shoes: Call It Spring

So I originally started this the other day, while sitting on a tour bus in Washington D.C. writing about an event that happened almost two weeks ago. All this writing did not save anywhere so here I am starting from scratch...
Two weeks ago I attended my cousin's wedding in Colorado and it was gorgeous. It was kind of a low-key wedding - if that's a thing. The theme was kind of a natural gorgeous. The bridesmaids dresses were a deep green lace. I was almost in love as the Bride and Groom. Well... not really. But it was so wonderful to see so much love in them as they begin their life together. 
In a world full of hate their love will always win.
While it was great to see the family again and to be back in my home state again, I loved dressing up for the rehearsal dinner and the wedding. I am always ready to dress up for any occasion, even if that occasion is just going to dinner with friends. I had my hair and makeup done as well as some gorgeous dresses to celebrate the love between man and woman. 
I think what I miss that most about Colorado is the mountains. I was never incredibly athletic. I played soccer maybe took a hike now and then, but just looking at them against the skyline. You can see them or foothills from almost anywhere. They're one of God's greatest creations. 
While the main reason of the trip was the wedding, we also saw some of my old neighbors and friends as well as celebrated my cousin's 9th birthday at Casa Bonita. Casa Bonita is an overpriced Mexican restaurant with stunt performers in Denver. While my food was terrible I enjoyed playing in the arcade.  
In talking to everyone I got so tired of hearing the same questions: What are you thinking about for college? What do you plan majoring in? What classes are you taking? Do you have a boyfriend? To all these questions my answers were pretty much the same: maybe LSU, Journalism or Elementary Teaching or School Counseling, mostly honors, and no. One of my aunts told me that if I like to write so much then maybe I should start a blog - that made me laugh as I've had this one for about six months. 
I feel like I just have nothing else to say as so much has happened since these moments... But I promise I will write about Washington D.C. within the next couple days!
With Love, 

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

You Only Know What I Want You To

I think one of the hardest things for me is opening up. (That and relaxing, accepting, calming down, etc.). Today was a rough day, I'm not going to lie, but while my friends wanted to know why I was so upset, I couldn't tell them the whole truth because some of them just wouldn't understand.
I keep my emotions bottled up, but when the bottle gets full their now way to prevent the unwanted tears from streaming down my cheeks. Naturally when you see someone crying, a first instinct is to hold them. While that would be wonderful, I hate crying in front of people. In fact a hug just makes me cry even more, partly because the vulnerability.
Earlier today, before I started crying, I turn to my dear friend and said, "Sometimes I just wish that someone would hold me close..." I am just a closed off, secretive person and don't trust maybe as easily as I should. I guess part of this extra vulnerability is that I am going to be missing school for a couple of days and trying to get in early assignments and get my makeup work together is incredibly stressful. Just in general I am a very stressed out person.
But despite all of this, I must say it has been a pretty relaxing week. Nothing too exciting. Nothing impossible. Not too much drama. Well... too much - I didn't say there was none. But I had some time to think; some time to think about things that I want to address on this blog. Certain topics that are close to my heart. 
With Love, Jacquelyn
p.s. I know I look dreadfully awkward in that picture - I'm sorry

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Only in the Perfect Setting

And let me just begin with saying that the setting is not a school building...
In said perfect setting I would have a much larger closet, be free to do as I please and not have to worry about school tomorrow. I haven't been to school for two weeks and as usual am dreading my return tomorrow morning. I am not ready to deal with the stereotypical "white-girls" who don't for a second understand anything and expect their fathers and mothers to pay for everything for the rest of their lives.
This, in turn, is why I cannot wait to be older and out of school. While I understand that once you are out of school life is much more difficult for reasons such as caring for yourself, providing for yourself, etc. But in some ways I feel like I am ready. Not to mention, and perhaps this shows my ignorance, but I would like to take some time almost immediately after college to travel and do only things that make me happy. Provide for myself while traveling around the country or perhaps that world. But as the adage goes: a girl can dream, can't she?
To make the aforementioned dream a little more logical, maybe I could go to the places I've heard of to find a job? Travel and research the places I've looked at. I know typically what kind of area I would like to live in, but there are so many areas that I have seen. Very few of these places I've ever actually been...
but once again, that is only wishful thinking...

Here are a few pictures of what I did in my Perfect Setting during the break:
I drank some hot coco
I took some nice warm baths

This wasn't the only fire I sat by :)
I also did this cute little craft thing - I'll try and post a picture of it soon on Instagram or something.

I hope you have a positively wonderful week and don't catch the Monday Blues!
With Love, Jacquelyn 

Friday, January 1, 2016

New Year's Resolutions for a New Me?

I am one of the millions of people who make and attempt a New Year's resolution. I am also of those who fail. I'm not going to lie, my resolution usually has something to do with my body and changing it or creating a healthier lifestyle. I'm not going to lie in the past year I have lost a little weight, I've quit hiding as much and have become more body confident. So this year my resolution will probably be the same thing and I will only semi-succeed with this resolution.

I think I drive my friends insane because I take so many pictures, and I have them take pictures of me, and sometimes I take that perfect selfie that I just obsess over. But after thinking about it, I can't figure out why I take so many pictures or why I have them take so many pictures of me. I did come up with some reason as to why I may obsess over a perfect selfie though... Part of it is that I lack a certain confidence in myself. That being said when I take a picture of myself that at first glance reminds like a Tumblr girl or something that would get endless likes on Instagram it sparks a certain happiness inside of me, and it feels so special. I just want to share that joy with everyone, but inadvertently, they get the wrong idea and feel as if I am just bragging on how gorgeous I look.  

This may turn out to be another resolution: finding that happiness and not sharing it in what feels to be a bragging manner. I dream to find this sort of confidence everyday and want to be able to grasp instead of groping around in the dark for something barely tangible. 

Happy New Year, and may only the best people and moments fill 2016!

With Love, Jacquelyn